Jokes and funny stories

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Jokes and funny stories

Post by Rbjustme on Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:10 am

Continued from Matureozchats....

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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Members Posts on Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:57 pm

I have a hacksaw blade but no saw to put it into - that's the sort of stuff that happens to me r:)



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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Members Posts on Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:57 pm

Well, between us we have a hacksaw PK. Agree



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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Members Posts on Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:58 pm

More like a hacked saw. Innocent



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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Members Posts on Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:58 pm

Patrick's first flight:

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising
altitude, the captain announced:

'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293,
non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good,
so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back,relax
and...... OH, MY GOD !'
Silence followed!

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was
talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot
coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

One Irish passenger Patrick, yelled...
'Bloody hell!!! ....... you should see the back of mine!!!'

Source: The spelling Nazi. Hi there Lol



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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Members Posts on Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:59 pm

Yep that's right folks, me again! Jubilant



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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Rbjustme on Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:43 am

Catholic Morning Coffee - with apologies to all non-lapsed Catholics.

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people calls him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, look....

"Well....?" She proudly replies, I have a daughter,

SLIM & TALL
40 D Breasts
24" WAIST and
34" HIPS
Very Attractive.

When she walks into a room, people say, “ JESUS Christ!!!!"

Good old Aussie humour!! Applause

Compliments to my niece. cheers

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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Rbjustme on Thu Nov 26, 2015 10:10 pm

I could not resist replying to this tweet!! rofl


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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Leroy on Fri Nov 27, 2015 9:02 am

Ha ha rippa rita Rippa Rita! rofl
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Peacekeeper on Fri Nov 27, 2015 6:24 pm

Another birthday recently leads me to support you in this Rb, still alive and kicking, my physiological age (which is calculated at the gym) is 54, so I have many more years to annoy my kids rofl
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