Jokes and funny stories

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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by The Ghost on Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:45 pm

It does although it's a bit tinny....rofl
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by kelimar on Sat Dec 26, 2015 6:53 pm

A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading "George and the Dragon." He knocked. The inkeeper's wife stuck her head out of the window.
"Could ye spare me some food?" he asked. "No," she said rather sternly.
"Could I have a pint of ale?" "No" she snapped again.
"Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!"
"Well", he said, "d'ye suppose I might have a word with George?"
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Rbjustme on Sun Dec 27, 2015 1:59 pm

Good one KM, so, the answer to the last question was NO! Lol

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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Peacekeeper on Mon Dec 28, 2015 4:07 pm

What's in a name?

There was a married couple sleeping and a psycho killer entered into their house. The killer put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, “I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them, what is your name?”

”My name is Elizabeth,” the woman replied.

The killer said, “You remind me of my mother who was also named Elizabeth, so I can’t kill you.”

The killer then turned to the husband and asked, “What is your name?”

“My name’s Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth, too.”
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Bullant on Tue Dec 29, 2015 12:28 pm

Ha ha, in that case my name is Elizabeth too! Lol
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by kelimar on Sat Jan 02, 2016 3:07 pm

At 85 years of age, Morris married LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband was so old, LouAnne decided that on their wedding night, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities, LouAnne prepared herself for bed, and waited for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves.
LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again. Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action. And again they enjoy one another.
As Morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey, I've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris."
Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?"
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Peacekeeper on Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:43 pm

Ha ha that is a good one Km.

I saw a tee shirt today "Sarcasm is the body natural weapon against Stupid" Shock
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Rbjustme on Sat Jan 16, 2016 9:44 am

So, that's how some get away with being stupid. Shock Very Happy

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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by The Ghost on Mon Jan 18, 2016 12:28 pm

No, that's sar-chasm RB. Innocent
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Re: Jokes and funny stories

Post by Peacekeeper on Wed Jan 20, 2016 4:36 pm

Cataclysmic sarchasm there Spooky one - Lol but remember to leave the spelling to the designated spelling nazi please.
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